Why I became a doula.
One of my first memories is the feeling of overwhelming joy and excitement as a pillow was placed on my lap and the weight of my baby sister landing soon after. I remember feeling like this small beach ball of a baby had been given to me to look after and that felt like the best job in the world. Also, this awe that such a perfect mini me had grown inside my mum, how wild and utterly magical! I also remember at the age of six being absolutely fascinated by the birth section in our family’s st john’s ambulance first aid manual, that’s how baby’s get out of tummies insane?! and thinking it would be best to be prepared for such an emergency. I don’t know why I thought it would fall to little old me to be delivering babies out in public but kid’s brains are funny old things!
In my teenage years I considered becoming a midwife, but dyslexia combined with an uninspiring secondary school science education made it seem out of my reach. One fun but now useless degree in costume design and making later and I was on a very different path. My early careers until my mid-twenties of waitressing and being a dresser in theatre have, I think taught me invaluable skills for life and doula life. To be truly good waitress you need to tune into people’s needs, in the middle of a whirlwind Friday lunch shift in oxford street Byron burgers (remember them!) I would top up mayo before you ran out, your fork dropped and a new one would be with you before you looked up to ask. I found joy in the chaos and deep satisfaction in getting stuck in and working as a team.
Actors need their dressers to be reliable and calm an ever present rock who is completely unflappable so that when they come off stage and rush into a quick change in the dark they have you there headtorch on knowing exactly what to do to make sure there back on that stage in seconds, sweat wiped away, water on hand and a running joke to keep the repetition of eight show weeks slightly less gruelling. I secretly liked it when something minor would go wrong backstage the excitement and break from routine the rush of your brain firing into action as you find a solution of a zip that’s miss behaving or a pair of shoes not being where you need them to be! It’s a very intimate job being a dresser you become really bonded with your actors and this strong bond of mutual trust is so important for the relationship to work and of course for the show to go on!
When covid hit, I was ready to move onto the next challenge and with all the theatres shut I started studying body massage and facials. Finaly, I had an inspiring anatomy teacher, I loved how massage has such a profound effect on the nervous system and can bring calm and rest to busy minds. I loved the hands-on nature of the work and meeting so many new people and once I had retuning clients, I found the joy of building relationships and getting to know people. Facials and massage will always be special to me they are as beautiful to give as they are to receive, and it has taught me so much. Pregnancy massage and facials always felt extra special I will never forget the first time I saw the baby kick through the sheet (you could honestly see the shape of the foot!) or when pregnant clients are able to fall asleep for the first time in a while! Seeing women through this journey made me realise that I wanted to specialise and offer even more involved care and after speaking to some wonderful doulas I went and booked my doula course with nurturing birth!
And here we are I am so excited for this new chapter I honestly feel like all the work I have done in the past was teaching me and leading me to this very important and special role!
